Media 
Reprinted from The
Woman News Section
Lifelines Column
Making
The Tween Connection
By Sharon Honaker
Special to the Tribune
They're no longer begging you to take them to the
playground, but they're not old enough to drive themselves to soccer practice
either.
That's how Ginny Bishop describes the "tween years," children ages
8-12. The 40-year-old
Seeing this time as the last chance to connect with her children before the
teen years, Bishop decided to become a "larger-than-life" mom who did
things--lots of things--with her children. From snowshoeing to hiking,
visiting homeless shelters to helping the elderly, Bishop began doing all sorts
of activities with her children, individually and collectively.
"The tween years are such a wonderful time, I'd like to freeze them,"
said Bishop, a former marketing professional turned stay-at-home mom.
Wanting to share her experiences with others, Bishop wrote "Tween Time:
Over 52 Ways to Celebrate Life with Kids Ages 8-12" (Happy Life Press,
$10.95) The 128-page paperback contains suggestions ranging from
storytelling to fort-building to volunteering, each illustrated by Bishop's
11-year-old daughter, Camille.
Most of the activities have been done by Bishop or her friend and contributor
Kim Griffeth. They're also kid-tested and approved. Bishop's
children, for instance, won't let her include the "Funky Turkey Trot"
because it was "too embarrassing."
Release last fall, "Tween Time" is in its second printing. For
a self-published, self-marketed book, Bishop is proud of her "seventh
child." She still makes daily sales calls and has started holding
tween fests, wehre parents and tweens do community projects together.
Best part of being a tween mom: I always saw myself as a great preschool
mom; I wasn't so sure about being a tween parent. But it's great,
especially the conversations. Tweens are smart and savvy. When they
talk about the decisions they've made, you realize that as a parent you did do
something right as they were growing up. But you're not their first
choice anymore.
The teen years: I'm bracing myself. I know about drugs and sexual
activity. I hope when my children become teens they'll talk to me when
the really tough things happen. That's why these tween years are so
important. If those lines of communication can be established now, hopefully
they'll stay open forever.
How she handles all her roles: I've never worked so hard in my
life. I pack every single day like you wouldn't believe. I do all
the "mom duties," like houseswork and carpooling, and then most
nights, I'm working on marketing the book until
Where her family fits in: My husband, Joe, gets our four older children
off to school so I can work early in the morning. Then when the
3-year-old twins get up, they come with me everywhere--to the printers or a
bookstore or an interview. At night, Joe cleans the kitchen and my
children help each other with homework so I can answer e-mails and do other
things involving the book. Sometimes the pace gets to be too much.
I know I'm pushing everyone's tolerance when my kids complain, "do we have
to stop at Kinkos again?"
Her advice for parents of tweens: Find out what your tween is passionate
about and do something with them related to that.
What the book has taught her: If you have an idea, nothing can stop
you. I hope my children learn that too. When we couldn't afford to
produce the book, people came through with more than $50,000 in cash and
in-kind service donations. Everyone helped.
The message for parents: Children, especially tweens, need time to
connect with their parents. You don't always have to buy them
something. They want your time and that may be more costly than writing a
check. But it's worth the price. This age only comes once.
Freeze it in your memories and theirs.
"Tween Time" is available at bookstores and tweentime.com.
Copyright 2003,
Get in on the Giving
in Colorado
Reprinted from
Parenthood.com
By Ginny Bishop
How Your Kids Can Learn Powerful Lessons While Serving in the Community
This holiday season encourage your family to consider giving a gift of time or
contributing to a local charity. Most nonprofit organizations that benefit
children and families have ongoing needs for volunteers or donations. By
involving the whole family in regular community service, children learn the
importance of responsibility, while receiving hands-on, real-world experiences.
Compassionate.
Responsible. Successful. Most
parents want these character traits to come to mind when they think of their
child.
But how do we get our kids
to think and act compassionately and responsibly? Although there are many ways
to teach responsibility, there is probably no better way than to involve kids
in regular service in their communities.
“We know that kids who
participate in service learning do better in school, feel better about
themselves and become active members in their communities,” says Cathryn Berger
Kaye, author of The Complete Guide To Service Learning: Proven, Practical Ways
To Engage Students in Civic Responsibility, Academic Curriculum, & Social
Action (Free Spirit Publishing Inc., www.FreeSpirit.com, 866-703-7322).
And doesn’t that make sense? When kids have a
chance to get their hands busy making a difference about something that they’re
passionate about, they can’t be stopped.
Take Leah Garvin, a junior at
“I know kids see adults
standing on the side of the road, holding up signs that say, ‘I’m homeless,
please help me,’ but I don’t think the youth at Kent Denver have ever seen a
15-year-old on a street corner holding up a sign that says, ‘I’ve been homeless
for five years.’ So I wanted to raise awareness between the youth at a great
school like Kent Denver and the homeless youth in our city,” Leah says.
Kids learn powerful
lessons when they serve others. But how can parents lead their kids to these
lessons?
Small Hands with Big
Hearts
If you want community service to be part of your child’s life, start early.
When your child is young, talk about how you serve people in the community, and
how it makes you feel good to do for others. Then show them how rewarding it
can be, beginning even before your child starts school. A 4- or 5-year-old
absorbs these lessons and learns to love service when you get them in on the
giving early.
“Giving children the
chance to serve in the community is a wonderful gift. Research shows that youth
service builds the life skills that all children need and for that reason I
encourage every parent to find something their child really cares about and
then do it with them,” says Stephanie Hoy, executive director of Assets For
Colorado Youth.
Simple ways to begin modeling service include
talking about times that you made a meal for a sick friend, or babysat a
neighbor’s child as she was recovering from surgery or perhaps taking care of a
neighbor’s house when they’re away on vacation. That’s really where service to
community starts — right in our own backyard.
Next, pinpoint what, where
and how your family would like to serve. Begin your discussion by listening to
what your child is passionate about and then do your homework. If it’s animal
care or gardening that gets your child excited, research organizations that can
help put his good ideas for service to work. Many organizations such as Metro
Volunteers, local schools, churches and community centers offer service
projects that would interest adults and children alike. And if you can’t find
an organization serving that particular need, start an outreach program of your
own.
Mark Paolucci, an eighth-grader at
“Most of my neighbors are
elderly, and it’s hard for them to take care of their lawns. So I help them out
for free. It makes me feel like I’ll be a good citizen when I’m older,” Mark
says.
Whatever service projects
your family chooses, make sure that it’s something everyone can commit to and
be responsible for on a regular basis.
It doesn’t matter if it’s a once-a-month literacy program at a local
homeless shelter, a once-a-year adoption of a family at Christmas time, or an
occasional meal your family makes and takes to an elderly shut-in, just make
the date on the family calendar and honor it.
“It is our role as parents
to find ways to harness the energy, ideas, skills and talents that kids already
have to make great things happen in our communities,” Kaye says.
It usually takes a
parent’s nudge to get the ball rolling. Sometimes a quick conversation about
what kids can do with their outgrown clothes or their gently used toys and
books will get them to start thinking about the bigger picture.
Sometimes kids come up
with their own ideas.
“I told my mom that I had
a lot of toys and I didn’t want to make my basement more messy,” says Navy Hall (see profile), a
third-grader at
That simple conversation
started the ball rolling, and Navy donated 13 backpacks to kids in need this
fall.
It’s never too late to
help children get started on making community service an important and
rewarding part of their lives. Whether you’re sending a child off to high
school or to kindergarten, it’s never too late to connect with them through
community service. Just get going, and get in on the giving!
Helping Out in
the Community
Here are some local
organizations offering volunteer opportunities for youth and families, and also
some agencies that can help match your skills and areas of interest with
agencies in need of assistance.
American Red Cross - Mile High Chapter, 303-722-7474; www.denver-redcross.org
– Volunteers needed to serve as instructors for babysitter training classes and
CPR/first aid classes, assist individuals in response to disasters. Training
provided. Red Cross Youth Corps Councils offers training, support and resources
to high-school age kids interested in completing service projects.
Denver Dumb Friends League, 303-696-4941, ext. 393; www.ddfl.org
– Many volunteer opportunities including animal care, outreach projects and
foster animal housing.
Family
Food Bank of the Rockies,
303-371-9250; www.foodbankrockies.org – An affiliate of
Habitat for Humanity of
Metro Denver, 303-534-2929; www.habitatmetrodenver.org
– Brings families and communities in need together with volunteers and
resources to build decent, affordable housing. Youths must be at least 16 to
participate in construction projects, and Habitat also offers many suggestions
for youths under 16.
Metro Volunteers,
303-561-2300; www.metrovolunteers.org – Matches
individuals wanting to donate their time and efforts to organizations that
require assistance. Specific opportunities available for families, groups and
youth. “Visit from St. Nicholas” program provides surprise backpacks to less
fortunate school children.
Mile
Office of Volunteerism,
City and
Ronald McDonald House®
Charities of
Sacred Heart House of
Service-learning
Volunteer Connection,
303-444-4904; www.volunteerconnection.net: Matching individuals
to volunteer opportunities in
Volunteers for Outdoor
Colorado, 303-715-1010; www.voc.org – Projects protect, preserve
and improve and
Volunteer Match, www.volunteermatch.org
– Get out and do good! A nation-wide web-based service to find the volunteer
opportunity just right for you.
Volunteers of
Women’s Bean Project,
Leah
Garvin Stands for Youths At-Risk
A bumper sticker on Leah
Garvin’s car tells you what you need to know about the 17-year-old junior at
Leah follows her own
advice. She founded Project Youth At Risk, a program that aims to raise teens’
awareness that there are kids just like them who have no place to call home.
Moved by her involvement
in the organization Peace Jam and conversations with kids from
“I listened to the youth
at
Flanked by two supportive
faculty members and a committee of energetic classmates, Leah decided to start
Project YAR, and she set a date for the first YAR fundraising/awareness event
at Kent Denver in October 2003.
“After three years of
believing in Project YAR, it was inspirational to see Kent Denver kids come to
the rally and learn about kids they may have never known existed!” Leah
reflects.
The rally included youth
organizations such as Peace Jam, Colorado Anti-Violence Program, the Arapahoe
House and Stand Up for Kids. Hip-hop artist C/Rayz, was on hand to entertain
the crowd.
At the end of the day,
Leah’s group had raised more than $1,300 in donations and had raised teens’
consciousness about struggling kids.
“This event really wasn’t
about raising money. It was about raising awareness, and I think we did that
quite successfully. I feel that you should always be trying to stretch yourself
by taking yourself into new situations where you can learn,” says Leah.
Where is Leah headed next?
She hopes to be accepted at the
“I want to choose a
university that has a spirit of activism because that’s what I’m interested
in,” Leah says.
Well, that’s no surprise.
Mark Paolucci – A Neighborly Citizen
Mark Paolucci is a typical
teen that likes to go to the movies, hang out with his friends and play soccer.
He’s the second child in a family of seven, so on any given day he is serving
someone other than himself.
For most of us, that would
be enough service, but not for Mark. Instead, the 14-year-old offers free
baby-sitting for Danny, a 12-year-old boy with Down syndrome.
“I offer to baby-sit for Danny when his parents want to go out because he
doesn’t have a lot of friends, and it’s kinda fun that I can help someone,”
says Mark, who’s an eighth-grader at All Souls School.
“I like to come over to
try and get to know Danny better. He’s pretty talkative, but not really
mentally at the same level that I’m at, but that’s OK because he can do a lot
of the physical stuff like play football and box like I can. We have fun
together,” Mark says.
Mark credits his love for
community service to his mother.
“I’ve grown up watching my
mom cook meals for people who were sick, take care of their kids and do lots of
nice stuff to help people out. So I know
that even if you don’t get paid, you’ll feel good about yourself in the end for
helping out,” Mark says.
When Mark isn’t sitting
for Danny, he offers free lawn mowing and raking services to the elderly
neighbors on his block.
“Most of my neighbors are
elderly, and it’s hard for them to take care of their lawns. So I help them out
for free. It makes me feel like I’ll be a good citizen when I’m older,” Mark
adds.
It seems like Mark is the
best kind of citizen already.
Navy Hall Shares Her Blessings
Meet Navy Hall. She’s 8
years old and a third-grader at
“I told my mom that I had
a lot of toys, and I didn’t want to make my basement more messy. So instead of
a birthday present, I asked each of my friends to bring a new backpack that we
could give to kids that don’t have any,” Navy says.
Navy collected 13 new
backpacks and when she started buying her school supplies in the fall, she
donated those backpacks to the kids staying at Sacred Heart House of Denver, a
local homeless shelter for mothers and children.
“At first it made me sad
not to have any presents to open at my birthday party, but then I was really
happy that I didn’t choose presents because I felt good about helping other
kids,” Navy explains.
And that’s really what
it’s all about.
Ginny Bishop lives in
From
Retailers and
revelers find lots of treats this season
By Jennifer Wolcott Staff writer of The Christian Science
Monitor
Date:
Halloween is creeping up
fast. Surely, by now, spiders hover above your
doorway, a string of
orange lights dangles from your porch, and
inflatable ghosts lurk on
your lawn. Or at the very least, your Elvira
wig is good to go.
Long gone are the days
when getting ready for Halloween meant one had
only to carve a pumpkin,
stick a candle in it, and fill a bowl with
candy in time for those
first trick-or-treaters.
Today, Halloween is the
second-biggest consumer holiday, after
Christmas. Roughly $1.5
billion is spent every year on costumes and
another $3 billion on
party accessories. And nearly half of Americans
age 18 and up are planning
to decorate their homes or yards with a
Halloween theme, according
to the National Retail Federation.
Clearly, the day is not
just for young hobgoblins anymore, but for
grown-ups whose role used
to be limited to flashlight-carrying
chaperon. In fact, an
estimated 65 percent of adults now participate by
dressing up, decorating
their homes and lawns, or attending holiday
parties. Even pets are
joining the fun, as 66 percent of American pet
owners now deck them out
in costume. (Favorite pet costumes, in order
of popularity, are:
pumpkin, witch, cowboy, devil, and clown.)
So how did a holiday with
Celtic roots become a retailers' jackpot?
Halloween, which marked
the last day of summer on the ancient Irish
calendar, has been
celebrated in various forms in the
1600s. But by the late
1800s it had become a tame and even genteel
holiday. It gained
momentum with trick-or-treating in the 1950s. Then,
in the late '90s,
Halloween decorating took off, says Ellen Tolley,
spokeswoman for the
National Retail Federation. Halloween "became more
than one day, it became an
entire season."
This year, since Halloween
falls on a Friday, revelers are expected to
be out in force, and
retailers could gain a whopping $6.9 billion.
But commercialism aside,
some say the increased exuberance is a good
thing. "It's a
distraction, a release, a way to blow off steam," says
Phillips Stevens, a professor
of anthropology at the University at
days, so we need
this."
Nicholas Roger, author of
"Halloween: From Pagan Ritual to Party
Night," offers a bit
of historical perspective.
"Halloween's origins
were never really meant for young children," the
inversion, when social
norms are turned upside down. There might also
be some truth in saying
that, in our post-9/11 world, people are trying
to forget and just have
fun. It's not bad for a kind of cathartic
blowoff."
Ginny Bishop, a mother of
six from
Halloween hype of recent
years, especially the participation of adults.
It provides an opportunity
for adults and children to connect -
something that parents
yearn for in today's "increasingly disconnected
world full of video games
and television."
Ms. Bishop, author of
"Tween Time, Over 52 Ways to Celebrate Life With
Kids Ages 8-12,"
adds, "Making this connection is not about
but about sharing
traditions and celebrating everyday life in small,
inexpensive ways.
"For this, Halloween
is just the ticket.
(c) Copyright 2003 The
Christian Science Monitor. All rights
reserved.
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